Am I okay? Clearly, I'm not. But for some reasons, I have expected this to happen. I knew that eventually, the absence will turn into another goodbye. 2014 sucks, right? It does. My top three biases clearly shoved me to the ground with the issues they got into.
But Luhan's issue seems to be the most striking to me. Without hesitations, I can actually say that his is the only termination issue which I can openly accept without bitterness or whatever.
Funny how some people hate on him; but it's inspiring how many are still in the same position as I am. Perhaps, he has the same reason as the others for leaving; but you know what made it all different? Luhan said goodbye to the members and had the decency to take it slow.
No, I'm not comparing. I'm mainly pointing out the facts. Luhan must have said goodbye to the members. Remember Sehun changing his IG profile to 'EXO Let's Love' and unfollowing everyone? That's my biggest clue. Something came up and I knew right then and there that it must have something to do with Luhan. Meaning, he knew beforehand.
And with Yixing posting on Weibo that message of support, I was convinced that they really were given a heads-up before everything happened.
For the past few weeks, I was restless. I knew something was bound to happen. This morning, when I woke up at around 6AM, I stared at Luhan's posters pinned on my ceiling and I just posted on my private Twitter account a picture of him with the caption: "Whatever happens, happens. From the beginning til the end, I love you."
No, I'm not a sasaeng fan. I'm mainly relying on instinct.
I'm not the only one who must have felt this though. Those who are actually stanning Luhan as who he is and not just because he's a member of EXO will understand. During the two years that he was with the group, it's not difficult to know him fully. After all, like Tao and Yixing, he's one of the most honest in the group. He's one of the easiest to read because he makes it possible to read him. He doesn't hide. He doesn't pretend that much. If ever he did, it's to not make his fans worry.
But everybody has his limits. And maybe, he really did came across his before TLP Bangkok.
If you're asking me if I believe his health issues, yes I do. He has a serious fear of heights and being someone with one, I can tell it's difficult. Remember that episode from Showtime when they got into the cable car? You must have all think it was funny but for Luhan stans like us, it was so painful seeing Luhan crunched up on a corner fearing the whole ride. Remember when they put him on a pole in the beginning of a performance? All we were asking was why were they doing this to Luhan.
But did you guys hear him complain? When it all became too much to bear, he did. But let's all bear in mind that that's after two years. He doesn't have a right? He's still ungrateful? I don't think so.
Please don't compare this with Kris' situation. It's totally different except for the reasons.
Now, here's what's making my blood boil: SME is trying to turn the tables. They released a statement implying Luhan to be an ungrateful member who left after gaining from them. The question is WHO GAINED FROM WHO? Luhan was part of SME's biggest cashcow, EXO. Luhan is the biggest name in China right now. Put Luhan's face in every SME merchandise and it will get sold out easily. Even in Korea, Luhan has managed to establish a big fan group. Now who gained from who?
I'm not forcing anyone to believe Luhan. I'm sorry for putting my insights here. We all have different opinions. We all have different thoughts about this. And I know I might come off unfair because I never did this when Kris left. But I've got my reasons. I've got my own understanding. And right now, even though it hurts, I'm with Luhan on this.
It's amazing how from the beginning until the end, this guy had taught me a lot of things about life. He taught me about fighting for his dreams when he pushed through with being an idol despite his parents disapproval. He taught me about staying humble when he preferred pushing his brothers to the spotlight than stepping on it. He taught me about always being patient despite the harsh treatments when he continuously smiled even though he was pushed down in the airport. He taught me about still being himself when he never forget to be who he has always been with his friends whenever he goes back to China. He taught me how to be grateful when he decided to push through with his limits and perform in his hometown before leaving.
He taught me how to be a person, and that's why his influence will never fade on me.
Luhan is more than just a KPOP idol who has a beautiful face, lovely voice and awesome dancing skills. He might just be the most wonderful person I've known in this whole industry.
And so whatever happens, wherever life takes us, I will be with Luhan until the end.
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IMPORTANT NOTE:
This post may not be 100% accurate.
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